CYP Now - Resources: Know how

A child who doesn't join in, seems withdrawn, has few friends, and regularly puts themselves down may have low self-esteem. But not all people with low self-esteem act this way, in fact, they may be the complete opposite as PJ White explains. 1. Good things happen to happy, well-adjusted, confident people. They cope with difficult situations, and they bounce back from adversity. They mix well, make friends easily, and are less troubled by depressions and anxiety. The opposite can be true for those with low self-esteem. Given that childhood experiences set the pattern for the rest of life, it is important to make sure children feel good about themselves.

2. Children need to be listened to and valued. Criticism can undermine them and make them not want to bother in future. That's why it is good never to miss a chance for a bit of praise, whether for a piece of work, a contributed opinion or some other positive behaviour. Encouragement should be meaningful to the child. Finding something, even a small thing, to praise that the child believes in is better than blanket general enthusiasm that children will soon learn to devalue.

3. Being withdrawn and lacking friends can be a sign of low self-esteem. But remember that it is natural for everyone to want to be quiet or not to feel confident at times. Sometimes this is in particular settings. Watch out too for signs of low self-esteem that are less intuitive or obvious. A child who boasts or has an exaggerated impression of their own ability may actually have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is traditionally linked with being bullied. But those doing the bullying may also be suffering from it themselves.

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