The programme caught up with the family 16 years after the brothers had been adopted to find that 18-year-old Jason has a serious drug and alcohol problem and Andy, 21, is serving a two-year prison sentence for arson.
Unfortunately, this is the experience of hundreds of adopters in this country and exactly the kind of scenario that those with younger adopted children fear most. Abuse and neglect are the main reasons why many children need an adoptive home. But early trauma can often result in severe emotional, behavioural and developmental difficulties that do not respond to ordinary parenting and love.
In my role with the adoptive parenting charity Adoption UK, I hear daily of parents struggling to cope with children and young people who are mistrustful and frightened. Young people who struggle to maintain the control that may, at one time, have kept them alive. Parents find themselves dealing with unusual and difficult behaviours that may include lying, stealing, urinating and defecating around the house, hoarding food, self-harm, self-loathing and aggression.
If they seek professional help, many parents find they are simply told that "all children do that" or "they need time to settle". Sadly, traumatised young brains have been hardwired to respond in such ways because their early needs were not met. It is their survival technique in a world that feels unsafe.
Current adoption support legislation is unfortunately limited to local authorities assessing what needs a family may have, but they do not have to provide that assistance. In my own experience, I begged for help for my now eight-year-old son.
My home and possessions have been destroyed during his tantrums and my health has suffered as a result of the stress. The police are regular visitors to my home and his school.
He is a loving and kind boy whose life is blighted by these mental health problems that no-one is addressing. I love him dearly but without the right kind of help, I fear he could quite easily fall into the same trap as the Hale brothers depicted in the programme. We don't want our children filling our courts and prisons.
They need help now, not just when they become a "problem" to society.
- Got something to say in Soapbox? steve.barrett@haynet.com or 020 8267 4707.
