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Back Page: In The News - An alternative take on last week's media

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- The free paper, Metro, dug up an extraordinary story this week that was bizarre enough to warrant a front-page splash with the breathtaking headline: "On your own in the park... are you a pervert?"

According to the paper, Telford and Wrekin Council has a policy of approaching people in Telford Town Park in Shropshire to ask them what they're doing - in case they're paedophiles. Mind-bogglingly, people walking with a child are safe but anyone sans infant is liable to be questioned about their reasons for being in the park alone as a "child safety precautionary measure".

The policy came to light after two environmental campaigners, who were handing out leaflets dressed as penguins, were booted out of the park as they had not been through a risk assessment or had a Criminal Records Bureau check. Baffled penguin/campaigner Rachael Whitaker said in her defence: "How many child molesters dress up as penguins anyway?"

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