Relax. This is not more about school dinners. This was a response to Classroom Chaos, the television documentary by director Roger Graef. It received considerable press coverage, with most commentators enjoying relating the juicier bits of misbehaviour in schools. Everyone agreed something must be done. Few had any idea what.
Purvis was an exception. Despite her preference for carrots, she added ominously, "sticks may have their place". And not just sticks, but handcuffs too.
"Imagine, for a moment, real zero tolerance," she invited readers. "Security staff would sit in the classroom. At a nod from the teacher they would remove troublemakers, if necessary in handcuffs. It would be routine for teenagers who made violent or sexual threats to be prosecuted and suspended."
It wasn't clear whether she was joking but it was all very timely. In the same week, newspapers showed photographs of US police officers handcuffing a disruptive five-year-old at her kindergarten in Florida.
- If handcuffs are to be used, there's a need for training in using them. Two men botched an attempt to handcuff education secretary Ruth Kelly before the start of an election campaign debate. The two grabbed her wrist as she walked through the crowd.
The Independent reported that "members of the audience wrestled her free".
Mike Ford, a candidate for the Veritas party, was said to have restrained one of the men.
The men legged it before police arrived.
Normally, the fathers' rights campaigners' antics do not raise any serious policy questions. This is different. Their failure forces us to consider what happens if children in classrooms resist handcuffs. What if members of a class help each other to struggle free? What does zero tolerance suggest is next? Tear gas? Stun grenades?
- "We know that children like verbal humour, silly puns and such like. But they also get a laugh from action material such as people falling over." Those are the wise words of Professor Maire Messenger-Davies of the University of Ulster.
What we don't know, and what the prof plans to find out, is whether children are the same the world over. Do German and Israeli kids laugh at the same jokes? Might what tickles a 10-year-old in Ireland go down like a lead balloon in South Africa?
Messenger-Davies and fellow researchers will be playing tapes to audiences of eight- to 12-year-olds in each country and measuring the responses using a "Fun-o-Meter."
If they find anything interesting, we'll let you know. Just joking.
SOUNDBITE
"Once, taking an apprenticeship in a trade would be the making of manhood. Today so few get this chance that sex has taken its place" - Kathy French, Royal College of Nursing sexual health advisor.
