In the report Too Old to Care, grandparents claimed they actively avoided engaging with children’s services because of a fear the children they care for will be taken away.
The charity surveyed 255 family and friend carers as well as conducting a series of interviews with 18 grandparents aged over 65 and holding focus groups.
Older grandparent carers said they had experienced prolonged legal battles, lack of support and financial hardship.
One great-grandmother looking after her three great-grandchildren said she was told by social workers she was not entitled to respite care because she was a family member. "I didn’t have anyone who could say to me, 'sit down, I’ll take the girls for an hour'," she said.
There are an estimated 25,000 grandparents over the age of 65 raising grandchildren in the UK.
Grandparents Plus chief executive Sam Smethers said: "This research reveals the hidden contribution made by older grandparent carers. But it is worrying to discover that many who need support are too scared to ask for it and of those who do, most don’t get the help they need. There is a fundamental lack of trust in the system, which needs to be addressed.
"We found a range of problems – from ageist assumptions through to poor-quality assessments and care plans. Yet we know that older people do make good parents for children. They have a wealth of experience and can provide children with love, a sense of identity and belonging and crucially maintain relationships with the wider family."
In March, the government published statutory guidance on family and friends care, which requires local authorities to consider family members first when children cannot live with their parents. It also states that councils must have a policy on family and friend carers in place by the end of September.
Grandparents Plus is now calling for councils to fully implement these measures, in particular ensuring that grandparents receive the financial, legal and practical support they need. The charity also wants to see a cultural shift in social work and local authority practice to ensure "ageist assumptions" are not made about older grandparents.
The government is also asked to start pilots where direct payments are given to family and friend carers as an alternative to respite care.
