Should a teacher put herself forward to adopt two looked-after children that are about to be sent to live with their father, who they have never known? A primary school teacher tells of being caught between personal and professional demands.
Ten years ago, I was teaching a class of six-year-olds in a primary school in a poor part of west London.
There was a boy in my class I was fond of. But he began coming into school late quite a lot. I found out he and his elder brother were living with a foster mother who had too many children to fit in her car so social services had arranged for a taxi to take them, but this tended not to turn up.
I contacted her and told her the boy and his brother couldn't afford to miss any more school. I suggested as the boys lived more or less on my route that I could fetch them on my way in to school. She agreed.
I got to know them even better because one day the foster mother had to take one of her other children to the doctor after school, so the boys came back to my house. They asked if they could come back again as they got on very well with my children.
The boys were of mixed White and Afro-Caribbean parentage but had been placed with an Asian family. I think they had more in common with my children.
Their father had left them. Later their mum, who had a drug problem, had left them in the care of her boyfriend when she went away for a few weeks.
While she was away, her boyfriend abandoned the boys so they were put into care.
I wish I had adopted them because they were sent to live with their father in Sheffield. They didn't know him but I guess the decision was taken because there was no-one else and it was cheaper than keeping them in care. Worse still, they had a baby brother who was given to someone else for adoption.
When they went to live with their father, they were left alone in the house again. There was a fire and the older boy died.
They should have been given back to their mother, but even though she had been rehabilitated, it wasn't seen as being acceptable.
I felt social services went with the cheap option. I would have loved to adopt them, but was afraid of getting too close to the situation.
I felt strongly but was afraid of being unprofessional. Perhaps I should have done more. I just don't know.
- Have you ever faced a tough professional choice? Call Stovin Hayter on 020 8267 4767 or email stovin.hayter@haynet.com.
