They may sound overly earnest or laughable. It may seem curious to create artificial competitions from ordinary activities, but there is no cause to mock.
So we should resist the temptation to wish for champions' league play-offs. If the Young Environmentalist of the Year took on the Young Chemist, who'd win? We shouldn't make cheap jokes about the extraordinarily wide range - from Young Musician of the Year to Young Drummer of the Year.
Or speculate in a puerile way about whether there is Young Roadie and Young Groupie of the Year.
We should support the achievements of all entrants to Young Horticulturist of the Year, Young Geographer, Young Magician, Young Enterprise Business Adviser, Young First Aider, Young Sailor, and, a particular favourite, Young Plumber of the Year.
But it is right and natural to bury your head in your hands and groan at the annual appearance of Lynn Faulds-Wood and the Young Consumer of the Year. Yes, it has come to this. Awards to young people for ... shopping.
Not in recognition of exceptional speed or duration: how fast you hit your credit limit or total hours spent trying on shoes. This would at least have a bit of spark about it. But the dull reality is the awards go for being a sensible, know-it-all about all the dreary caboodle of consumer credit laws, levels of VAT, trading standards and who gets prosecuted if you don't wear a seatbelt. Time to despair.
Tabloid newspaper favourite for Young Lottery Winner of the Year is, of course, 16-year-old former Co-op shop assistant Callie Rogers. She's packed in her 3.60-an-hour job after a 1.875m windfall.
She's promised to buy bikes, toys and various holidays for her family members. So after a brief shot at the Young Present Buyer of the Year title, what then?
What resources does she have to fall back on? What ballast can help her keep stable in a crazy world? With her perspectives suddenly and radically inverted, how will she avoid the pitfalls so many recipients of unexpected wealth succumb to? What chance is there that she will achieve her aim - "It won't change me as a person"? How will she become the person she wants to be? Obviously, she needs Youth Worker of the Year. Any age will do.
