We now know that graffiti tags are not art. Judge Barrington Black said so as he jailed Michael Potter for causing nearly 10,000-worth of graffiti damage to London Underground trains.
"To inflict and expose on the general public these offensive and unsightly scratchings and drawings is both impertinent and arrogant, to say nothing of the offensive comments that you found it necessary to make about the police force. It is not art. Art is something people choose to view. You were imposing your marks upon a long-suffering public."
Interesting debating points there, m'lud. If being impertinent and arrogant rules out someone as an artist, you might need radical revision of the entire canon of Western art.
If the test is whether people want to see it, other problems arise. Van Gogh's stuff pulls big audiences now, but none when he first created them.
Does that mean Sunflowers evolved into art at some point? What about Gormley's Angel of the North? Pass by and you hardly have a choice about whether you see it or not.
What about something that no-one can see even if they want to? A cutting- edge prize for young artists has given a 4,000 shortlist prize to a work that no-one is permitted to see. The Beck's Futures award went to Carey Young, who submitted only a framed legal document declaring that she is keeping her work of art secret.
Hmmm. But now a row has broken out after a Swedish artist who once did something similar accused her of plagiarism.
So it is a relief to turn to some practical, concrete stuff from West Midlands police. The service has produced no-nonsense cardboard cut-outs of two local officers as a way of providing local community reassurance and improving police visibility.
The batch of figures of PC Karen Southey and PC Richard Demers will be distributed to suitable crime hotspot locations. Inspector Denise Clarke says: "The figures are very colourful, impactive and almost life-sized."
But why aren't they properly life-sized? If they are less than life-size, villains will stand taller by comparison and not be so fearful. Make them double life-size. Even the size of the Angel of the North. Then stick a few in the Institute of Contemporary Art to keep an eye on young artists nicking ideas from each other.
