Forget it. Classical music is out. Middlesbrough Council is drawing up plans to pilot "mosquito" units outside "shops where teenagers congregate and cause trouble", according to the BBC. These supposedly work by sending out an ear-piercing noise that is only clearly audible to people aged under 20.
Councillor Barry Coppinger, executive for law and order at Middlesbrough Council, is keen. He is proposing to use a mosquito unit "to divert people from antisocial behaviour", he said.
How many other councils will make screaming in young people's ears part of their respect agenda? You start to worry about some people.
The charity Keep Britain Tidy wants professional footballers to stop spitting during matches. It claims young people are copying them. That's why our streets are awash with saliva. And that spreads colds, flu, measles and mumps.
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