Empathic Care for Children with Disorganized Attachments

I warmly recommend this book to anyone working with or caring for traumatised children. It will be relevant to adoptive and foster parents, social workers, residential staff and teachers. Providing helpful introductions to attachment theory and recent developments in neuroscience, the book is written in a clear, accessible style.

The focus is on “mentalising”. As the author notes: “The starting point for the model in practice is to be curious about the child’s mind and how we think and feel in response to their mind, not their behaviour.”

There is an excellent chapter on trauma and its ongoing impact on a child’s life. The book manages to combine theory and research while providing practical advice on how to work with traumatised children. The tone of the book is compassionate and understanding, with an emphasis on curiosity and empathy in working with vulnerable children.

I have only one regret about this excellent book: there is very little focus on shame. Children who experience trauma or neglect are at risk of developing a severe sense of shame about themselves that can sabotage much of their lives. I believe that an understanding of shame and how to work with it can be extremely helpful for anyone involved in caring for traumatised children.

Jim Walker, psychoanalytic psychotherapist and school counsellor