I must admit I was a bit surprised to hear that a new survey had named Southend-on-Sea as the best place in Britain to retire.
Not as surprised as The Daily Telegraph's Leo McKinstry, who described the thought of retiring to Southend-on-Sea as the "British equivalent of exile to a Siberian salt mine".
Apparently our pedestrianised town centre and low council tax were two important factors that helped the borough come out top in the survey, which was commissioned by Yours, the over-fifties magazine that shifts a staggering half a million copies each month.
Researchers also took local house prices into consideration, along with our weather, violent crime rates, the availability of NHS dentists and, perhaps most predictable of all, waiting times for hip replacements.
As for having something to do, researchers looked into local leisure facilities and reported that our wide range of clubs and activities for retired people - miles of award-winning beaches and more than 80 parks and open spaces - made the town the perfect place to draw your pension.
In fact, the only thing they didn't take into consideration was what retired people had to say about living in Southend-on-Sea. This isn't the first time, and it certainly won't be the last time, that surveys based entirely on an arbitrary collection of statistics will grab the headlines and catch people's attention.
It's easier to have researchers Googling their way around local communities than sending them out to talk to local people.
Young or old, we all want to live in communities free from crime and have things to do. But for most people it's the things you measure, such as having family and friends around, that count for much more than factors such as the weather or affordable dental care.
I have no idea what retired people think of the town. I'm still trying to work out what young people think of it. But I do know this. Not everything that can be counted counts - and not everything that counts can be counted.
