The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘A Partridge in a Pear Tree’ - actually no… ‘A promise to make childcare truly free?’

On the second day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘2 Turtle Doves’ –  ah, they are an endangered species now – ‘A pair of boxing gloves?’

On the third day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘3 French Hens’ – we all know the Government prefer the French model of childcare!

On the fourth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘4 Calling Birds’ – pretty unlikely though as the Minister rarely calls

On the fifth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘5 Gold Rings’ – which I had to pawn off to pay for lots of nursery things

On the sixth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘6 Geese a’ Laying’ – a pity they weren’t paying

On the seventh day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘7 Swans a Swimming’ – we don’t need any more swans as that’s what we’re all doing anyway!

On the eighth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘8 Maids a’ Milking’ -  I rejected them in favour of ‘8 Practitioners Thinking’

On the ninth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
‘9 Ladies Dancing’ – no ta, we want ‘9 nurseries outstanding’

zOn the tenth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
’10 Lords a Leaping’ – we cant risk those Lords breaking any hips! No, we want ’10 babies laughing’

On the eleventh day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
’11 Pipers Piping’ – we don’t need pipers, instead the sector will continue to pipe up for an ‘11% funding increase.’

On the twelfth day of Christmas the Minister sent to me:
’12 Drummers Drumming’ –
“Rum papa pum, Rum papa pum we need a policy that will not dum dupa dump, a lot of problems in one big lum lupa lump.”

…So please Mr. Minster can you send:
a Christmas gift that will not end;
everything we do for children who depend
On our nursery staff and many friends
Please don’t worry, we won’t overspend
If you invest in us now and lead a new trend.