The mother of a young man I work with disclosed to me that he regularly beats her. She has begged me not to say anything. I am worried for her and feel that I can’t just leave it.
Sadly, this is not so rare as we would like to think. Parents who are victims are often torn between believing they are responsible for their child’s violent behaviour and the fear of what might happen to the child if they were to seek help. Being abused by your child is especially painful since the parenting role is generally one of nurturing and supporting, and setting boundaries and examples for life.
Family Lives has received numerous calls to its helpline from abused parents. There is also a new book by Amanda Holt, Adolescent-To-Parent Abuse: Current Understandings And Research In Research, Policy And Practice. These two resources might help this mother to know that she is not alone and find out more. But it would also be helpful for her to talk with people who have some expertise in the area.
Answered by Tracie Trimmer-Platman, senior lecturer in youth and community work at the University of East London
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