Supporting parents and carers to cope with child sexual abuse

We estimate that at least 15 per cent of girls and five per cent of boys are sexually abused before the age of 16, based on the available survey evidence. 

As such, as well as protection from further abuse, these children will need support with the impact that the abuse has had on them. But it’s crucial that professionals don’t lose sight of the fact that sexual abuse also affects their whole family. Non-abusing parents and carers need to be recognised as victims of the abuse, alongside their child. They are also key to their child’s recovery from harm, so by supporting them effectively, we can help them support their child.

For parents and carers, discovering their child may have been sexually abused is one of the most devastating events they can experience, with many likely to be overwhelmed by shock, anger, confusion and disbelief. Imagine for a minute how it would feel to find out your child had been sexually abused?

Imagine again if the abuse they experienced was by someone close to you, a family member, your partner, a friend – someone you trust? For many, this is unthinkable.

It is not uncommon for parents and carers to feel judged by professionals, and others, who sometimes assume they knew about the abuse or failed to protect their child, led by the idea that ‘…they must have known.’ 

Professionals need to understand that many parents and carers will be overwhelmed by emotions during this time, and some may even deny the abuse as a way of protecting themselves from the pain and distress of what is happening. They may also have been victims of domestic abuse or may have been groomed or coerced into a relationship which enabled someone to abuse their child. Professionals need to develop respectful, open and honest relationships with parents and carers in order to work through what has happened and help them understand the impact on their child and how best they can support them.

Research indicates that for a child to feel believed by their main care giver is one of the strongest mediators of the long-term mental health issues caused by sexual abuse. As such, effective working by multiple agencies with non-abusing parents and carers is absolutely key to the future welfare and safety of the child. Bringing together research, good practice guidance and expert input from professionals across multiple agency environments, parents, and experts by experience, we have just launched our Supporting Parents and Carers Guide. This is a free resource designed to help professionals provide a confident, supportive response to parents and carers when concerns about the sexual abuse of their child have been raised, or when such abuse has been identified.

I wanted to write this guide to help anyone whose role brings them into contact with the parents and carers of children under 18 years old – be that a social worker, teacher, police officer, health professional, voluntary-sector worker or faith leader/worker. The guide covers a range of different situations, including where a child has been sexually abused by an adult(s), where they have experienced another child’s harmful sexual behaviour, and when the abuse took place within or outside their family environment. It also looks at how sexual abuse in different contexts affects families differently and suggests how professionals can provide a supportive response, recognising the impact on parents of the abuse and helping them in turn to support their child.

As well as providing practical guidance on ways in which professionals can actively support parents who have learnt that their child has been, or may have been, sexually abused, it also lists further resources for professionals to draw on and share with the parents they are working with.

With a team grounded in practice at the CSA Centre, we hope that our new guide will help support a better, more confident response for all.

Designed by professionals for professionals, the Supporting Parents and Carers Guide is available for free to download here: http://www.csacentre.org.uk/knowledge-in-practice/practice-improvement/

Dr Diana Parkinson is a senior research and evaluation officer at the Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse (CSA Centre)