As young carers’ responsibilities intensify, respite is ‘everything’

Now, add in the pressure of making sure bills are paid on time, the household is fed, and your siblings have clean clothes to wear. 

This is the reality for more than 356,000 young people across England and Wales today.  

And it’s getting worse. A UK-wide survey this year of more than 1,000 carers showed that the time spent on carrying out extra caring responsibilities has doubled, with many caring for between 20 and 49 hours per week. 

Courageously stepping up to the mark for family in a caring role shouldn’t come to the detriment of a young carer's own mental health, education, and social development. For many of these children and young people, however, that is the case. Their participation in leisure activities often suffers due to their caring roles and many report feeling lonely and stressed. 

Now more than ever, respite is crucial. 

It was a huge delight to see the joy on the faces of the group of young carers we took to The Young Carers Festival in Southampton. 

These young people may have friends in other environments but having those who understand what being a young carer is like is completely different. That's why respite and opportunities like The Young Carers’ Festival are important. Everybody attending understands the kinds of challenges they face. They don't feel different or isolated, instead they feel accepted. 

In fact, the Social Care Institute for Excellence says carers have told them that the difference made by breaks is ‘everything’ and free time to relax is vital for their wellbeing.

As pressure builds, socialising and fun are off the agenda.

The lives of young carers are complex as they care for family members who are struggling with health problems. Having the capacity to socialise and make friends can seem like a far-off dream when meeting seemingly everyday tasks like completing homework or making it to school on time are challenges of themselves.  

Lucy, 17, is one of the girls we’ve been supporting at Spurgeons. She cares for her mum, who has several conditions, including antiphospholipid syndrome.

“It can feel quite hard when your friends don’t understand, you can feel quite alone,” she says. “It would just be nice to have more people ask, ‘are you OK?’”

When another of our young carers, Archie, first became involved with Spurgeons, caring for his autistic brother had left him feeling isolated and misunderstood by his peers.

“I just found it hard to find people who accepted me for who I was,” he says.

Archie is just 10 years old.

Spending time with other carers on our respite days has been transformational for both Archie and Lucy.  

"I wake up and I’m like ‘Yes, I get to see my friends today’,” says Archie. “I’ve learnt a lot of things through respite days, like how to be a good friend, and how to help people…”

With the continued support of our young carers’ services and the allocated Support Worker, Lucy has been able to sustainably manage her mental health and has attained a place in sixth form. She is very positive and hopeful about her future. Her favourite memory of last year’s Young Carers Festival was “me and Pooja sitting on the dock together, blasting music and enjoying each other’s company without anyone around to interfere or bother us”.

Like many other young carers, Lucy and Archie carry responsibilities well beyond their years and their respite is more essential than ever. 

While the data is telling, there is nothing more poignant than having worked with young carers and hearing them tell of the profound impact their caring role has on their day-to-day life.

It is a continued reminder that society as a whole must ensure young carers are seen and heard. Service providers, national decision-makers and educators alike need to ensure respite for young carers is a priority. 

Ultimately, young people like Archie and Lucy, who are having to grow up too fast, need us to advocate for their needs as they so bravely attend to the needs of those closest to them. 

Angie Jones is young carers service lead for Spurgeons Children’s Charity. For more information on Spurgeons Young Carers services visit: https://spurgeons.org/young-carers/