Breadwinning - relationships matter too

The sunshine of the summer holidays can often be overshadowed by the worry of the expense needed for kids to have fun. The average cost for a week of summer holiday childcare is now over £100, a rise of 9 per cent in England, putting additional pressure on working parents. Families muddle through with a combination of grandparents, annual leave, informal and formal arrangements, and it generally works. But combined with the rising cost of living this can put additional financial pressure on families, and additional stress on relationships. And there is concern that the government’s proposals on tax-free childcare will benefit more affluent families rather than all families.
 
With IPPR’s new research on showing that a growing number of mums are breadwinning (earning as much as or more than their partners – or are single mums) the cost of childcare is likely to remain a hot political issue in the run up to the next general election at least.
 
A host of reasons explain the rise in mums breadwinning, including many families needing two incomes simply to get by and meet the costs of living; mortgage or rent, childcare costs, food and utilities. Two wages may be enough to eliminate some of the financial strain, but sometimes it cannot erase the worry. And it seems that financial worries are affecting a large group of families.
 
Polling by YouGov/Relate at the end of 2012 showed that 65 per cent of women and 53 per cent of men were worried about the economic prospects for their families in 2013. The same poll showed that that 38 per cent of respondents felt that their financial concerns frequently had a negative impact on their relationship. This has translated to more couples seeking support and counselling.
 
On one hand it seems positive that there is less stigma associated with counselling, and that more couples are trying hard to make it work. But more couples seeking support means that more couples are struggling and it is the emotional and financial toll on families that is the concern. For example, the negative impact on children of enduring parental conflict, the likelihood that parents can’t financially support two households, and many women still facing a high risk of poverty if they divorce or separate.
 
Solutions are difficult, often complex and personal – but with parental conflict and instability being bad for children – support for parents at key transition points such as redundancy, around the birth of a child, or a long-term illness could make a difference.
 
A key touch point could be around the birth of a child. Despite the euphoria and excitement of having a child, couple relationship satisfaction can often deteriorate after individuals become parents. Most hospitals and the NCT run sessions to help parents prepare for the birth of their child. Mostly focused on labour and birth, these courses could be broadened out to focus on the post-birth period; the adjustments to family life and some of the pressure points.
 
This is just one example of the type of support that could help lay stronger foundations for families to negotiate exciting and difficult emotional and financial times. It addresses different pressures that families face. Along with more affordable childcare, access to more flexible work and a more progressive parental leave provision it could begin to help parents make decisions that work better for their family circumstances.
 
Wages are not set to rise in the short-term and living standards are likely to remain squeezed. Policy has got to do better at keeping up with changing family dynamics; mothers are breadwinning and this trend is unlikely to be reversed.
 
Dalia Ben-Galim is an associate director at IPPR. She tweets @dalia_bengalim