NCB Now: Support to help deal with serious illness

Dealing with the complexities of treatment and managing changes to family routine can mean there is little time to talk about what is happening and reassure children about the changes they are facing, which can leave them anxious.

There are emotional barriers to talking, too. Sometimes parents are worried about breaking down in front of their child or do not want to upset them with hard news. The uncertainties of a journey through illness can leave parents struggling to give children clear and consistent information.

School staff can find it difficult to offer support: not wanting to single children out or make things worse, and being worried about getting overwhelmed themselves. While friends can be a source of support, they often do not know what to say.

Young people themselves say how they find it difficult to open up conversations and ask for support because they do not know how to, or they are worried about upsetting people.

CBN members working with families before a death have recently highlighted a lack of appropriate resources for the siblings or children - especially teenagers - of those with palliative care needs, particularly resources that could help them communicate better with important people in their lives. In response to this, CBN has worked with a group of young people at Jeremiah's Journey's Stepping Stones project, each of whom has a family member who is seriously ill. The young people made suggestions of things that their parents, teachers, friends and the person who is ill could do to help and these have been turned in to a set of postcards that young people can use as prompts for support. They can tick the suggestions they would find helpful and give it to the person. We hope that this will be a way of opening up those difficult conversations and helping one another to find a way through.

WHAT TEACHERS CAN DO

Young people's suggestions include:

• Talk to me about home and school and I will tell you how I am feeling
• Help my family know how to keep me informed during the school day
• Understand that I may need more time for homework and deadlines
• Let my other teachers know what is going on at home