Forget the ‘gurus' - here are the child-rearing facts
John Freeman
Monday, April 16, 2012
There have been too many books by self-styled child-rearing gurus promoting one approach or another.
Instead, I am going to sum up the findings from recent research on child development, which are all guaranteed to work. Nothing here is rocket science, but equally it is not merely anecdotal or promoted casually as “common sense”. Every proposal has scientific backing based on observations and trials. So here we go.
Healthy adults grow from healthy babies, so, from conception, provide your child with a healthy environment, first in the womb and later in the home. Don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol, don’t abuse drugs, follow a balanced diet and don’t observe fasting. When your baby is born, feed her on demand, breast milk being best initially, and moving to a balanced diet of solids after a few months. As your child grows, continue to make sure that you both follow a balanced and varied diet. Don’t wait too long to have children, as a mother or a father – children of older parents tend to have more developmental problems. All this will give your child the best chance to develop well physically.
But ensuring that your child’s body and brain develops well physically is only the start. Children’s mental development also needs supporting. More than anything else, you need to talk to your baby so that she bonds emotionally and starts to learn language – she will use at least 600 words by three, and understand many more. Don’t constrict her speaking with a dummy and keep talking about things that interest her. Don’t use the television as an alternative to conversation, but as a stimulus to discussion. Provide a varied but safe environment that encourages play with a selection of toys and interaction with other children.
This is a counsel of perfection, of course, so what stops it all happening for every child? There seem to me three problems, one of which is that humans have a naturally over-optimistic mind-set: “Surely just one cigarette/drink/sniff won’t matter?” The other two problems are ignorance and poverty.
That is why Sure Start is so very important – to educate and support those families who need it most.
John Freeman CBE is a former director of children’s services and is now a freelance consultant. Read his blog at cypnow.co.uk/freemansthinking
