Policy into practice Separation and divorce
Anne Longfield
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The issue: For a child, one of the most difficult things to deal with is your parents splitting up. Having their secure environment shattered by the separation of the two people with whom they have developed the closest of bonds can have a serious impact on a child's emotional wellbeing. For some it creates long-term trauma that can take many years to get over.
Once the parents have separated, children often have to navigate a difficult path between their mum and dad to avoid upsetting the other.
However, if managed in a sensible way divorce and separation do not need to have to have such a negative impact on children. In some cases, life may even become easier with both parents feeling happier and more secure once separated and providing a more stable environment for the children to live in.
CASE STUDY 1
It's Not Your Fault is a website set up for children whose parents have separated or are going through divorce (www.itsnotyourfault.org). It has been set up by Action for Children and offers practical information for children and young people going through a family break-up. It is a very accessible and child-friendly website with plenty of interactive features and games to engage children such as an interactive door showing "parents behaving badly"; a secret diary in which young people can record their thoughts; and a "how do you feel" face-clicking page.
There are also helpful sound recordings of "views from children" and a list of where to get further help. The website aims to help children cope with changing family circumstances and reinforce the fact that it's not their fault their parents are separating.
CASE STUDY 2
The National Association of Child Contact Centres is a charity that promotes safe contact within a national network of child contact centres. The centres are friendly and neutral places where children of separated families can spend time with one or both parents and sometimes other family members. The charity has almost 350 such centres across the country. They provide toys, games and facilities that reflect the needs of children affected by family breakdown.
For many children it might be the only contact they have with the other parent - often the father -and it is a time they look forward to each week. People can be referred to the centre by a solicitor, Cafcass, a social worker or through a court order. Some centres accept self-referrals. The organisation also provides a range of other services such as accreditation to national standards, a telephone helpline and skills and development opportunities.
Anne Longfield is chief executive of 4Children
