I should say from the outset that in discussing these examples I have also heard some positive stories: where shopkeepers have helped children to carry shopping, given advice on work opportunities, and even allowed a young person to pay for items at a later date.
I'm definitely not saying that all shops are hostile towards children, but I am saying that the commonality of negative experiences should provide our shopkeepers with food for thought.
The first issue is shops with signs forbidding more than a couple of school children to enter at the same time. Signs like these have angered young people across Wales. "The signs assume that all young people are troublemakers and shoplifters," said one young person I met.
Then there are the common experiences like standing in a queue being repeatedly overlooked as the shop assistant serves countless adults, and then being shouted at if you have the confidence to say: "Excuse me, I'm next in the queue."
I heard one story where an adult standing behind a child in a queue refused to be served first. The shop assistant reluctantly served the child, but was so heavy handed with the child's items that her eggs were smashed. "I suppose you want those changed now?" said the sarcastic shop assistant, using the tannoy system to call for a replacement. The queuing adult suggested an apology was necessary, but none was forthcoming, although the child was really pleased that the adult was willing to help her out.
Several parents and carers have spoken to me about their children losing confidence after negative experiences like these in shops.
Struggle to be respected
We recognise that children are rights holders, Wales being the first country in the UK to have passed a law about children's rights, and yet here we are with children and young people having a real struggle to be respected as customers.
One of the reasons I launched the See Me Dyma Fi campaign (www.seeme-dymafi.org.uk) was to smash the negative stereotypes that exist about older children and young people. Those stereotypes feed the behaviour I have outlined here where some of the adults working in a shop clearly believe that every young person entering their premises is someone not to be trusted. They have formed a negative view of their young customer as soon as they walk in. The trouble is that premature judgments of this kind are unfair, discriminatory and build resentment.
To end on a more positive note, I was in a cafe recently as a group of six school lads came in. They sat down and the cafe owner said: "Hello boys, I've not seen you in here before, what can I get you?" The boys were on a school trip and called in for some lunch. They ordered and asked where they could get a map of the town. Before they knew it, the owner came back with drinks and a map for each of them as he proceeded to explain where everything was.
It goes to show that it doesn't take too much effort to afford common courtesy and I can see no reason why children and young people should not expect to receive it as well as give it. If rights-based practice is about anything, it is surely about mutual respect.
I would like those who own or work in shops and retail outfits to just think what experience they are giving to children and young people. We are all under an obligation to recognise that children and young people are rights-holders, and surely it makes no sense to alienate a section of the community from becoming customers.
Keith Towler is Children's Commissioner for Wales
