Was this a youth shelter that had been taken over by rowdy OAPs? Or an old folks' disco packed with octogenarians re-living their wild youths? Nothing so exciting, alas. Merely some mangled syntax and an all too familiar scenario.
Elderly locals in the Northumbrian village of Widdrington Station "have called for the removal of benches in the centre of their square, which has become a meeting point for teenagers," we learn from the Herald. "They say there is noise into the night from the group and gardens have been damaged." The solution arrived at by parish councillors was to move the benches and place them "elsewhere in the village". Good luck with that.
Nurseries across the land take note. Forget traditional children's ditties - rock anthems are what you need to settle babies to sleep at nap time, according to The Sun.
"Babies are nodding off to grunge band Nirvana after a soothing lullaby version of one of its hits was put on a CD," reported the paper. "Kurt Cobain's Smells Like Teen Spirit as well as songs by AC/DC and Queen have been recreated using xylophones, wood blocks and glockenspiels."
The Rockabye Baby! CDs, which also include versions of Bob Marley and Pink Floyd hits, have sold out in baby stores in the UK and US, the paper revealed. "People seem to love the fact they're a quirky and fun take on some of our legendary bands," said a spokeswoman. "Dads also seem to particularly enjoy them."
"Learning to play on your own is a key stage in any child's development. But for the parents of Pipi Quinlan it nearly cost them dearly," reported The Guardian.
While her parents were asleep, the toddler bought an £8,000 mechanical digger online, the paper explained. "With a couple of mouse clicks, Pipi, from Stanmore Bay, near Auckland in New Zealand, opened a browser and found the TradeMe auction site her mother had logged on to the day before to look for toy excavators. Within a few minutes she found herself the owner of a massive Kolbeco excavating digger." Pipi's mum got the shock of her life when she got the bill but the seller was happy for the digger to be re-listed.
The family has certainly learned through play. "The computer is now kept out of Pipi's reach," concluded the report.
