But what about parenting for those children who are in state care? They are the seven in every 1,000 children, totalling more than 92,000 across the UK in 2013. It falls to us all collectively to help ensure children in our care receive the same benefits from active parenting as our own children. On the other side of the coin, we all have a moral duty to ensure that children in our care do not experience the negative effects of poor parenting.
There are all sorts of mechanisms in place to ensure children get a fair deal - laws, regulations and guidance, all enforced variously by inspection and enabled by allocations of funding. There are, literally, thousands of pages of guidance, aimed at making sure that services provided by disparate agencies are joined up, and that professionals and carers are properly trained and supported so that children's needs are genuinely met. It doesn't work perfectly by any means, but the intentions are good and things are much better than they were only a few years ago. There is still a major gap between the outcomes for children in the care system and the overall population, but the gap is showing signs of closing. While there are still too many care leavers who are not in education, employment or training, or who are imprisoned for criminal offences, there are fewer in these categories - and there are more care leavers who go on to higher education and good jobs.
For example, the national minimum standards for fostering services start uncompromisingly with the notion that the child's welfare, safety and needs must be at the centre of their care, and that children should have an enjoyable childhood. If the standards aren't delivered in every case, these are nevertheless laudable and child-centred ambitions. The leaving care guidance emphasises the need for personal advisers - individuals who can develop a relationship with care leavers and provide trusted nuts and bolts advice. The "Staying Put" reforms provide a framework for continuation of care into young adulthood - exactly what many parents are able to offer to their children at that age.
Importantly, there is an increasing number of adults who themselves have been through the care system and who act as local and national advocates for what is really needed. First-hand experience and personal testimony are worth a very great deal. Former X Factor contestant Ashley John-Baptiste says the recent extension to the pupil premium for children who have been through the care system is welcome, but it's not enough. As a child in long-term foster care, his experience was that primary schools and teachers neither met nor understood his needs. He felt alienated from his peers and from the school experience as a whole. Understandably, any talk of "family" left him on the outside and his internal preoccupations led to misbehaviour that was not well dealt with.
His conclusion is that the extra funding will help, but unless it is backed up by training and support for teachers, it will be ineffective. I agree, and it was this sort of holistic approach that was envisaged by Every Child Matters. While much of its statutory architecture has since been demolished, there remains a legacy of working together that was built in the 2000s. The care system is moving in the right direction. With constant scrutiny this will continue.
The group I worry about most are those children on the edge of care, where families are being supported, perhaps by the Troubled Families programme. We must all work together to prevent these children being permanently disadvantaged, becoming the next generation of troubled parents. Schools must play a key role, providing a stable centre where family life is chaotic. Primary school experiences that are alienating must become the exception for all children.
John Freeman CBE is a former director of children's services and is now a freelance consultant Read his blog at cypnow.co.uk/freemansthinking.
