Tips on addressing sexual harassment among children

Ofsted’s 2021 report found that around nine in 10 girls said sexual harassment, including being sent unwanted explicit pictures or videos, happened 'a lot' or 'sometimes'. 

There’s no easy answer for what needs to change to stop this happening in the future: it’s a deep-rooted problem in our culture exacerbated by modern technology. Addressing this requires a multi-faceted approach, working across all sectors of society:

• Children can currently easily access or be sent harmful and disturbing sexual content on their telephones. It’s clear that viewing this content not only has an impact on mental health but can also influence subsequent abusive behaviour.

• Tech companies need to invest much more of their huge resources towards designing reliable child-friendly technology for mobile phones and apps that are guaranteed to be safe.

• There needs to be legislation for the regulation of all websites and apps that host sexual content to ensure that they are not accessible by children – website and server owners and app developers need to be held legally accountable when this fails.

• There should be better guidance for schools dealing with instances of abuse, in particular on how to respond appropriately when there’s lengthy criminal investigations into allegations or where there are investigations which don’t conclude in a prosecution or conviction - as well as where their responsibilities start and end for harmful behaviour that occurs outside school.

• Parents and carers also need to do their bit, not just by setting parental controls for devices but also being willing to have difficult conversations in a calm and non-judgemental manner.

How to talk to children about sexual abuse

Many parents and carers want to know the best way to approach a conversation with a young child, ensuring they keep safe but balancing that against the fact that nobody wants children to be necessarily aware of the adult world. It’s not unusual that parents will be reluctant to have a conversation about sexual abuse for fear that they’ll be subjecting their children to concerns from the adult world that they may not even be aware of.

The NSPCC has great guidance on this: they suggest an easy way to speak to young children about abuse is ‘PANTS’, which stands for:

• Privates are private

• Always remember your body belongs to you

• No means no

• Talk about secrets that upset you

• Speak up, someone can help

The great benefit of a conversation about PANTS is it will help to teach children how to recognise personal boundaries without mentioning sexual abuse.  

The NSPCC also has some advice for speaking to older children:

Try and have this conversation with your child at a time when it feels most natural for you both. For example, at bath time getting dressed or during swimming, when you can easily change the topic to discuss how what is covered by swimwear and underpants is private. However, every family is different and the best time is usually when you feel most comfortable having this conversation, as you being comfortable will help your child feel at ease too.

What to do if a child discloses that they have experienced abuse at school 

If a child is in immediate danger, call the police on 999 straight away. However, most disclosures do not happen immediately but only later, when they feel safe enough around someone who they trust. Again the NSPCC has some great advice on what to do which can be summarised as:

• Listen carefully to what they're saying.

• Give them the tools to talk

• Let them know they've done the right thing by telling you

• Tell them it's not their fault

• Say you'll take them seriously

• Don't confront the alleged abuser

• Explain what you'll do next

• Report what the child has told you as soon as possible

You should report to the police and/or the NSPCC, which has now launched a dedicated helpline for children and young people who have experienced abuse at school, as well as for worried adults that need support or guidance. The NSPCC’s Abuse in Education helpline can be reached on 0800 136 663. 

Joseph Carr is senior associate in the abuse claims team at Bolt Burdon Kemp.