School refusal: why is it on the rise and what can parents do?

Understanding around these absences is contentious and unfortunately sometimes has descended into a blame game. It is all too easy to allocate responsibility for non-attendance, while parents and schools struggle to find solutions. We need to set aside blame however, so we can engage in a broader conversation on what is driving the spike in the number of children refusing to go to school and how to address it. 

A range of factors are likely to be contributing to children’s school refusal, including the long-term effect of social isolation during the pandemic, children and parents' mental and physical health, family functioning, parent-school engagement, and community support. In short, school non-attendance is a complex issue. 

The pandemic, and the disruption it caused to normal schooling, has had a profound impact on children's learning and socialising. Young Minds reported that 3.5 million young people (age six-23) are struggling with possible or probable mental health problems. Studies have suggested that for many, school refusal is closely linked to anxiety, so addressing the mental health challenges facing children is vital if we are to tackle this issue. 

The cost-of-living crisis has further exacerbated these issues. It seems many children feel overwhelmed, and, as a way of coping, they have turned to avoidance tactics, including school refusal.

Parents are hugely influential in helping children to reach their potential. It is key that we help parents to support children in overcoming their anxiety and get back into the classroom. 

To do so, we need to ensure parents feel able to reach out for help, whether from their child's school, their GP, or from evidence-based parenting programmes provided by local Family Hubs, Early Help or Mental Health Support Teams. 

In some cases, children benefit from specialist therapy in order to get back to school. However, parents and schools will always have an important role to play in continuing to focus on key areas such as: 

1. A positive and strong relationship with schools

School refusal is always going to be resolved most quickly when parents and teachers work closely together. Consistency between school and home plays a significant role in ensuring positive outcomes for children. This is particularly true around transition moments like the return to school after the holidays or the change to secondary, both of which can create uncertainty and stress.

Schools can play a vital role in supporting parents by offering advice around these moments on how to deal with anxiety, as well as flagging if they have concerns about a child's happiness or wellbeing. 

Schools and parents working together and having regular contact makes it much easier to identify if, and when, a child is struggling. 

2. Helping your child develop the key skills – self regulation and resilience 

A study comparing students with school refusal and those without school refusal found that school avoidance behaviours were often caused by a lack of self-regulation skills. Children who can self-regulate in early school years are better equipped to navigate the academic and social demands of their environments.  

One key way parents can teach their child self-regulation is by practising it themselves and setting an example for their child, Triple P parenting programme actively supports this process.

Part of self-regulation is developing resilience and coping skills to deal with unpleasant emotions like anxiety. These are most easily learnt in the early years but can still be learnt in later life too.  

3. Open communication and routine

Predictable routines are important for children of any age. When children are feeling safe and secure at school, they are able to relax in their environment and feel ready to learn. Providing a safe space for children to share their concerns, can help create a sense of ease about school and any issues related to their attending. Supporting parents to access evidence-based parenting programmes provides them with practical strategies and tools that can help children to manage anxiety and gain confidence.

Through normalising reaching out for help, and providing evidence-based support to every parent, we can help reduce the number of ‘ghost children’ and focus on raising a generation of happy and healthy children. 

Matt Buttery is chief executive of Triple P UK. For further tips and advice, parents can visit the Triple P website and its Fear- Less programme, or reach out to their local GP.