Ask the Experts: Separated parents

I work in a children’s centre and one of our families has just split up. The mother has tried hard to cope but the father is now seeing one of the other mothers attending our service. How can we manage the escalating tensions?

The key issue is to keep it child-focused. Parents breaking up and forming new relationships will inevitably affect any child. This will be a very confusing time for them. The children’s centre may be a place of respite from the troubles at home.

Mediate with the adults involved. Setting boundaries with each other can ensure they can all continue to use the service. This may involve agreements over times for dropping off and picking up children, and agreeing to not get into hostile conversations with each other at the centre. The father must recognise this is a difficult time for his child and former partner and set himself some ground rules regarding his public relationship with his new partner when attending the centre.

All children’s centres have a code of conduct for service users. Remind the adults involved of this and of the need for their children to come first.

Answered by Jeanie Lynch, who works for Barnardo’s and has 25 years’ experience of working with vulnerable children and families

Email questions, marked “Experts”, to cypnow@markallengroup.com