Work Pack: Youth club activities - parenting
Vanessa Rogers
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
With the high rate of teenage pregnancies in the UK, young people need to consider the practical realities of having a baby. Vanessa Rogers provides a series of activities to get discussions started.
Britain has the highest teenage birth rate in Western Europe. The government's teenage pregnancy strategy, launched in 1999 and reviewed in 2006, set out to halve the under-18 conception rate by 2010 and support teenage parents in education and training to reduce their long-term risk of social exclusion.
These activities build on sex and relationship education programmes and offer ways to engage young people in considering the issues surrounding becoming a parent.
Parenting Values
Aim: This warm-up explores young people's beliefs and values around what it means to be a parent.
You will need
- The discussion statements below
How to do it: Explain to the group that you are going to call out a list of statements that you want them to think about and then vote on. The voting system works like this: if they agree with the statement, they raise both hands in the air. If they disagree, they keep both hands by their side. If they are not sure or agree in part, they raise one hand. After each vote, encourage discussion and questions. Make sure this is done in a positive manner and doesn't become an excuse for attacking each other's opinions and values.
Statements to discuss
- Becoming a teenage mother runs in families
- It is OK for a woman to get pregnant without discussing it with the father if she wants a baby
- It is better to have children when you are young, so you understand them better
- Fathers should have the same rights as mothers to see their children if the couple splits up
- How your parents treat you affects how you will treat your own children
- Same-sex couples have the same right as any other couple to become parents
- Women are better than men at caring for babies
- If a woman gets pregnant and the father doesn't want her to have the baby, he shouldn't have to pay child support if she decides to go ahead with it
- The children of teenage parents are more likely than others to get into trouble with the police
- Since it is girls who get pregnant, they should be the ones to take responsibility for birth control
- If a couple has children, they should stay together
- Parents are responsible for what their children do
The Good Parent Pyramid
Aim: The aim of this activity is to promote discussion around parenting styles and responsibilities.
You will need
- Sets of Good Parent Cards
How to do it: Divide the main group into smaller groups of three or four and hand each group a set of Good Parent Cards. Their task is to read and discuss the cards and agree a 'pyramid' of importance of the attributes they think necessary to be a good parent. Each group should end up with a pyramid consisting of five cards on the bottom row, four on the next, then three, two and finally one at the top.
Now, invite each group in turn to share its pyramid with the others. Are they all the same? Where there are differences, ask group members to share the thinking behind their decisions. For example, encourage debate about the financial implications of being a parent. Does spending lots of money make children happy or is love more important? Reinforce the message that parenting styles differ within families and that most new parents learn 'on the job'.
Picture Parents
Aim: To encourage discussion around how parents are depicted in newspapers and magazines, and produce an advert for 'parenthood'.
You will need
- Large sheets of paper
- Glue
- Scissors
- Magazines (ones that are likely to show pictures of parents and
children)
- Newspapers
- Marker pens
How to do it: Divide the group into an equal number of smaller groups and equip each group with glue, scissors and marker pens, as well as magazines and newspapers. Explain that you are setting each group the task of using collage to produce an 'advert' that reflects how parents are depicted in the media.
Ask half of the groups to produce adverts for fatherhood and the other half to devise ones for motherhood. Explain that they can use the markers to add speech bubbles or words.
Allow up to half an hour for them to complete their collages. Once they have finished, ask the groups to display their adverts and encourage them to provide feedback on what they have put together. Discuss the points raised, such as whether mothers and fathers are shown in the same way. Is parenthood portrayed as a positive or negative thing? How easy was it to find images of fathers? Are mixed heritage families or parents with disabilities represented?
Conclude by asking whether they think the media's representation is a true reflection of most people's experience of having children, and then start a discussion based on their answers.
The Cost of Parenthood
Aim: This session encourages young people to look at the financial implications of becoming a parent over the first year of a baby's life.
You will need
- Catalogues of baby equipment and magazines relating to parenthood and
babies
- Information and figures on benefit entitlements for under-21s
- Information and figures on average wages for under-21s
- Calculators
- Pens
- Cost of Parenthood sheets
How to do it: Before you begin the session, ask the young people to estimate how much they think the average new parent spends on their baby in the first year of its life. You are asking for a figure to cover things that are specifically for the baby, not general expenses such as housing, although obviously this would be a major consideration in real life. Write up suggestions and come back to them later.
Provide calculators so that they can add up the various costs and arrive at a grand total. When everyone has completed their sheet, gather the group back into a circle and ask for feedback. What are the costs like? Are their totals similar? Is it more or less than they thought? What is the most expensive part of having a baby? Is this likely to change as the baby gets older?
Finally, hand out information about the benefits to which young people are entitled, including child and maternity benefits, and the average wages earned by under-21s.
Split the group into pairs and ask them to look at the totals on their sheets and compare these to the average income for a young person. Does it add up? What is the difference? Would they be able to manage the costs?
Go back to the original estimates that the group made and reflect on how close these are to the figures they now have. Compare this with Liverpool Victoria's annual survey in 2008, which calculated that new parents spend an average of £4,000 on start-up items in the first year of their baby's life. Further, the cost of raising a child from birth to the age of 21 in the UK is estimated to be £180,000.
Start a discussion around which things on the budget list are essential and which are non-essential. Then go on to look at other costs that having a baby might bring. For example, should a parent go back to education or work shortly after the birth? Parents who return to work six months after their baby is born can expect to pay an average of £3,600 for childcare in the first year.
GOOD PARENT CARDS
- Having money
- Showing love
- Understanding
- Being patient
- Sense of humour
- Listening skills
- Being fair
- Showing sympathy
- Setting a good example
- Setting boundaries
- Showing interest
- Showing care
- Hugging and kissing
- Disciplining
- Teaching
COST OF PARENTHOOD
Cot
Pram/buggy
Bedding (sheets, blankets etc)
Changing mat
Baby bath
Car seat
Nappies
Bottles and sterilising equipment (even if breastfeeding)
Baby food
Toiletries (baby bath, baby oil etc)
Clothes (from birth to age one)
Trips out and recreation
Toys
Extras (presents etc)
TOTAL
- Vanessa Rogers is a youth work trainer, consultant and author. Her books are available from www.nya.org.uk. For training and consultancy, go to www.resourceplanet.com.