Leadership: Better working with parents

Findings from the Effective Provision of Pre-school Education research project tell us that parents and the home environment they create are the single most important factor in shaping children's wellbeing, achievements and prospects.

This is why it is vital to work with parents. There is a big difference between parent "involvement" and parent "partnership". The former "allows" parents to become involved in things like fundraising and fun days on the setting's own terms. Partnership is a two-way process where the setting and parents work together towards the same goal. It is an alliance of equals, each respecting the other's expertise and experience.

Inexperienced practitioners may not always fully appreciate the importance of home learning. At the same time parents may have little grasp of the importance of play within an early years setting and at home. They may view anything except "formal teaching" as a waste of time or just a fill-in before their child goes to "proper school".

Working with parents can present enormous challenges, particularly for young and less experienced practitioners. While disadvantaged families may present a set of tricky problems, highly educated, professional parents can also be overwhelming. It is important the most experienced staff are allocated the children from the most challenging families. If a family unexpectedly presents with more complex issues then it is a good idea to appoint an experienced member of staff to work alongside a less-experienced colleague.

It is crucial practitioners do not allow negative stereotypes to get in the way of working with parents, especially if social services are involved with the family. They must set prejudice aside to maintain an open and non-threatening dialogue with parents. It isn't helpful if parents feel they're being judged as poor parents. They may already have negative attitudes towards those they perceive as authority figures and be under pressures we cannot begin to imagine.

First contact

The first call or contact with the setting is critical. Make sure there is someone to answer the phone and if an answering machine message is left, respond as soon as possible. Parents, especially those of a first child, will be very nervous on their initial visit. They need a friendly smile, an offer of a drink, an introduction to each member of staff, a chance to look at the children's work. Before the child starts, offer a home visit whenever possible.

Be sensitive about form-filling. Parents may have poor literacy or spoken English skills. If you suspect this to be the case you can discretely offer to help them fill in paperwork or allow them to take forms home where a friend or family member can do it for them. Lack of time or space to talk to parents can be an issue but it is something that must be achieved - it is not a luxury.

Less experienced practitioners will need help to develop the skills to engage with parents on a day-to-day basis, including the ability to discuss a child's learning and development and understanding how best to help parents to extend the home learning environment. An inexperienced practitioner will learn best by having the opportunity to observe a confident and experienced member of staff deal with "difficult" conversations.

Raising problematic issues with parents can be quite daunting. No parent wants to hear something they perceive as negative about their child. If a daily, friendly exchange of information - with an emphasis on positive achievements - is the norm, parents are less likely to become defensive or aggressive when something more contentious needs to be discussed. Make sure these conversations are held somewhere private. Start by saying you're a little concerned because you've seen X. Ask the parents if they have seen similar behaviour at home. Have evidence with you in the form of observations. If there has been a change in the child's behaviour, ask if the parents can think of a reason. Keep the whole exchange positive and look together for solutions.

If you believe the child may have additional needs and would like to refer him or her to an outside agency, explain that you and your staff would find it very helpful to have advice and support to better support the child.

Send out a yearly survey to parents to ask what you could do better and use this to inform your annual development plan. Your parents can be your best advertisers. If they like the service you offer they will not only send all their children to your setting but will tell their friends about how good you are.

Parents can also be a huge source of support. I once taught in a school in a very disadvantaged area that was the target of an arson attack. The parents rallied round, fundraising to replace the toys we had lost and cleaning and scrubbing those that were salvageable. By working with parents, we not only got the nursery back, but gained a community of families with a real sense of ownership.

TOP TIPS

• Remember - there isn't a one-size-fits-all template for parents. Every family is unique with its own set of pressures
• Don't underestimate the skills parents have. You may be surprised
• Ask questions and develop your listening skills. Find common ground
• Encourage parents to spend time in your setting but don't think badly of them if they don't
• Set up opportunities for parents to meet socially such as a clothes sale. Such occasions can help fundraise but are also good fun
• Don't forget dads. How father-friendly are your settings?