Professionals must help children decide not to be bullies

It is National Anti-Bullying Week this week and much will be said about what we should do about bullying. Nature’s pecking order is imposed with a ruthlessness that defines sentient beings, or should do. Humans create complex, formal taxonomies of power and social and legal rules provide the necessary obedience to their hierarchies.

Bullying figures are widely known: 82 per cent of learning disabled children experience bullying; 79 per cent are afraid to go out because of that; 70 per cent of children with autism attend mainstream schools and 40 per cent of these have been bullied. Children with autism are especially attractive targets for bullies. They may not understand the insurance of fashionable clothes and the correct trainers. They may be solitary and lack the protection of friends. They may ask naive questions, fail to comprehend the tone of voice or body language of the predator, and experience their sarcasm as a puzzle rather than a warning. A special interest in something unusual and other than Facebook, smartphones and boy bands may attract unwelcome attention that they may not see coming.

Bullies find and focus on difference. They are attracted to the passive, anxious, shy or sad. Their profile is that of the person who has found bullying gives them status, they believe they are seen as cool, and are admired and feared. Often they are right. Their psychological profile – unless in their world violence delivered redeems violence experienced – will be of the individual who sees their difficulties as being caused by others, and others are to blame for their conflicts. Their many friends and the bystanders who reinforce their bullying confirm their narcissistic self-image. We should not be sentimental about bullying anywhere – in schools, care homes, businesses or governments.

Having in place organised, vigorous and consistent systems for managing bullying is not just essential but the foundation of a healthy institutional culture. Procedures are a must but what else is? Woodfers World, the anti-bullying teaching resource Ambitious about Autism has sent free to every primary school in England this term, looks in another direction.

Metacognition – thinking about thinking – can be begun with children in primary school and is imperative to moral debate and personal decision making. What are we to think about difference? Are we to fear it, be curious about it? Embrace it? Do we want to be bystanders of bullying, not thinking that in doing so we condone it? Do we, in fact, want to be a bully? Identity is not a pillar of salt.

We have to decide who we are and the job of professionals is to help children to decide to be civilised and recognise and reject those who are parasitic upon difference.

Andy Lusk is director of autism services at Ambitious about Autism.

Follow Ambitious about Autism on Twitter https://twitter.com/#/ambitiousautism