The sin of poor sex education Claire finds that not everyone has an enlightened view on HIV and Aids.

We were discussing World Aids Day, a damp squib of an affair last year. I was talking about doing something pro-active next time and mentioned that in 2004 the focus had been on girls and women. I then went into a Victor Meldrew-esque rant about the lack of a joined-up approach towards informing children and young people about HIV and Aids.

"Well, I think the best approach is abstinence," a new colleague asserted confidently. "If that had been done in the first place, then none of this would be happening, would it? And as for all those gays, they've only themselves to blame."

Oh dear - we are a children's organisation that prides itself on its stance on anti-discriminatory practice. And that includes respecting everyone's right to their own religious beliefs.

I started by asking my colleague where her views came from and why she thought that people had themselves to blame. "Oh, it's this liberal sex education that tells children to go out and do it," she replied. "But children tell us that they need to know about how relationships and their bodies work before discussing sex," I countered. "This gives them opportunities to make confident, informed decisions as they get older. And abstinence education doesn't work."

"Well, I still don't like it," she harrumphed.

We talked about the issues that children and young people in care face, which make them more vulnerable to sexual abuse, exploitation, teenage pregnancy and, ultimately, HIV infection. "But they're different," she said finally.

We talked about the bullying that young lesbian and gay people experience and how the lack of decent sex and relationship education leaves them vulnerable. What I really wanted to do was wave our equal opportunities policy in her face and tell her to wise up.

Because, while we do what Margaret Hodge refers to as "silo working", we will still separate good sex education from teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and HIV. It means people like this young woman, who may be vulnerable herself some day, will still never understand the connections. And that's the biggest sin of all.