Anger is not always a destructive emotion, it can be channelled to positive purposes. But children who cannot control their anger can make life difficult for themselves and for others if they let it spiral out of their control. PJ White explains, calmly. 1 Some of the outward signs of anger are familiar enough. There is no doubt about the meaning of explosive outbursts of temper - shouting, screaming, fighting or violence.

However, there are also other signs that are less obviously associated with anger but which can have angry feelings as a basis. These include withdrawal, bullying, even self-harm.

2 The ideal is for children to learn to express and deal with their anger in a controlled way. Suppressing anger, universally known as "bottling it up", leads to problems later. Much better to let it out in a way that doesn't cause damage, physically or emotionally to anyone or anything. Children and young people can be helped through this, thinking about what kinds of things make them angry, and how they can respond in ways that make them feel better. They can discuss and share examples of what types of angry behaviour makes things worse by getting them into trouble or escalating conflict.

3 Identifying the real underlying cause of angry feelings is sometimes harder than it seems. A child crying because they haven't been allowed a toy, or a teenager's angry resentment about an imposed rule, may be indirect ways of expressing some other insecurity or unhappiness.

It may be difficult to identify these. Creating trust and careful listening is the best bet.

4 There can be other physical or medical reasons for anger. Never underestimate the frustration that can come from undiagnosed illnesses or impairments.

5 Anger management consultant Mike Fisher works with families when anger has got out of control, leading to school exclusion or trouble with the police. A core of his multi-part approach is to provide consistency of parenting, so that sanctions on misbehaviour, for example pocket money deductions, are understood clearly at the time, and applied fairly and consistently. Clear boundaries are vital. But what you must never do is withdraw love or approbation. Good advice for parents. Good advice for any adult in contact with an angry child.

6 "Take a chill pill" is common advice from bystanders. Irritating isn't it? But children and young people can practise strategies that amount to identifying a "chill pill" that works for them.

Counting to ten or removing themselves from the situation physically and emotionally can be good. Then there are various longer-term techniques like relaxation through music or meditation. Simply not expecting life to be free from injustice and unfairness can help.

Contacts: The British Association of Anger Management, set up by Mike Fisher, is promoting National Anger Awareness Week starting 1 December. More information including a downloadable Keep Your Cool Kit is available from the web site www.angermanage.co.uk.